Shed

Here in the crazies I am just so excited, in fact I just cannot remember the last time I was this excited.

You see Poppet got a new shed. 

It’s shiny and it’s big with lots of space for tools. 

Poppet called her shed ‘shed’. 

She is very proud of shed, and she loves shed very much. 

In fact the only thing she loves more than shed is a nice bag of salt and vinegar crisps and a double episode of Coro.

I am pleased we have shed as I now don’t have to step over the chainsaw to reach the washing machine.

Apparently now the laundry is clear of Poppet’s toys it is now my area exclusively so I am to keep my femmie fingers out of shed.

I have to go along with it of course, but I was in spotlight yesterday looking at upholstery fabric…….she didn’t say anything about lilac in the shed.

Jan 7th New Year's Resoltions

January 7^th

New Years Resolutions:

1)   1) Meet Deadlines more effectively

2) 2) Use spellcheck

2)   3) Be less judgemental of other’s flaws, even if they are just soooooo stupid.

3)   4) Keep my opinions to myself, except when the advice I give will help those above be less stupid so I can therefore be less judgemental more easily.

4)  5) Think less of me and more of others. What do others think of me?

5)   6) Avoid being influenced by what others think, they are most often stupid anyway.

the (budget) wedding of the century

Inspired I am by the royal wedding..

Weddings can be a bit extravagant so it was good to see Catherine and William using a little bit of good old fashioned common sense when it came to the wedding budget, these are tough times for all of us ya know…..

Here’s some top tips so you too can save money on your wedding like Kate and Wills did:

Recycle wherever possible.

The ring can be a big expense, if you are wanting something a little bit spesh but don’t have the budget ask around your family and see if there are any pieces lying around unused.

Borrow key items for the big day

If the budget doesn’t stretch to a hire car for transport after the reception borrow Dad’s, or even ask a bit further afield, maybe Gran has something you can borrow too, if it’s a bit old it will just add to the charm- don’t forget ‘vintage’ is very ‘on trend’ so don’t worry of the transport is a bit out of date.

You don’t need to hire a flash wedding venue

The local parish church is fine for a family oriented wedding and while a big venue for the reception is desirable, going back to the family home for a meal can be just as nice.

Wedding Outfits

Has the clothing budget been swallowed up by the womenfolk? No worries gentlemen, just wear your work uniform.

moving

It’s been tough times in crazy housewife land lately.

My domestic situation made domesticity difficult, a tiny flat with the kids means barely enough room for the 2 in 1 shaver/ epilator let alone the breadmaker. Yep, it’s been hairy and ciabatta free. How I coped I do not know.

Anyway happy ending number 312 came in a big truck and a 3 bedroom house in the city end of Karori (in Karori we specify which end we live in, ones personal value rises as the distance between one’s home and the local private school decreases).

Of course the love story leading up to this point was no predictable lesbian ‘one shag and we’re soul mates’ saga…. It was 2 shags and mates are those crackers you eat with marmite…. No wait, that’s meal mates… anyway.

So why am I sitting in Wellington’s public library with my laptop playing on the internet rather than at home unpacking?

Because unpacked boxes I can deal with, no internet is just barbaric….

Valentine's song (with help from Katy Perry

The ultimate valentines gift, a song for one's beloved, music by Katy Perry, lyric by Julz and Katy

Here's how it works, open this link in a new window and listen along to the original version while reading this, the new, improved and age appropriate version:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=98WtmW-lfeE

You think I'm pretty


Without any dentures on


You think I'm funny


When I get the kid’s names wrong


I know you get me


So I'll let my boobs hang down, down



Before you met me
I wore a v neck


And things were really steady


You bought me a life

Now every February


You'll be my valentine, now get my wine



We’ll go half the way tonight


No hot sex, or love


We can dance until it’s 9


You and I


We'll grow old together

You make me


Feel like
I'm living an Old age Dream


The way you turn me on
I’m a-sleep


Let's rock away


But don't ever wear slacks

I’ll never wear slacks

My heart stops


I can barely see

Just one touch


My baby’s hair recedes

This is real


So take a chance


And don't ever wear slacks

I’ll never wear slacks

We go Raumati

And drunk tea on the beach


Got a motel and


I almost wet the sheets


I finally see you

In purple polar fleece

Rub my feet



We’ll go half the way tonight


No hot sex, or love


We can dance until it’s 9


You and I


We'll grow old together

You make me


Feel like
I'm living an Old age Dream


The way you turn me on
I’m a-sleep


Let's rock away


But don't ever wear slacks

I’ll never wear slacks

the wellington lesbian artistic appreciation society- first outing

It could be the end of a beautiful relationship.

Sure, we’ve been together over a year and have even joint purchased a bath mat but with all the bliss of new love and clutter I have let it get to this point without the answer to a very simple, yet possibly relationship breaking situation.

Not kids, not religion, not core values or anything as shallow as that. No I’m talking about the big one- art appreciation.

I did it to myself. Saw the tickets to the great masters at Te Papa, “hey I wanna see that, wanna come baby?” And with those careless words slipped out of my mouth it was all on. In hindsight I should have purchased the tickets and then decided whether to take her later. But no I didn’t and she said yes.

Now I am faced with a couple of very real possibilities…

1)   She’s through the whole thing, from Monet to Manet in 10 minutes flat and asking when we can go to on the high ride leaving me standing there quietly mumbling uncharitable comments under my breath as she makes a hasty exit.

2)   I’m through in slightly more than ten minutes, having checked out the chicks in ballet gear and some blurry flowers flying out the door quicker than you can say ‘free macdonalds wifi ‘ figuring I can check out the rest of the pics on the internet later.

3)   Each of us competing to be keener than the other in showing our superior talent for art adoration and thus not emerging from Te Papa til mid August when someone finally tells us that the fire extinguisher is not a Picasso.

Actually, I’m not sure why I’m worried. It’ll be Easter before I remember where I put the frackin’ tickets ………

home alone #12867

Sweet P’s out for the evening, which means the house is all mine. The power has gone completely to my head.

Cos with P out guess who's in charge?

No not the kids

Guess Again?

No, not the cats

One more time........?

Me!! 

That's right. I am head lesbian in this house for an entire evening, and have everything under control. 

I tell you what, the power would have gone to my head, except I forgot to pay the bloody bill. 

The kids aren't convinced, Jack (aged 12) asked what we were going to eat for dinner.

Well, I set him straight! I told him I was a strong independent woman who can feed her family, besides, Paula left her eftpos card so the fish and chips were on me!! (would have been McDonalds but, well……..that’s another story)

Now, if I could just work out how to use the remote control……